Hot damn, a poop post! Haven’t had one of those in a while, have we? I MUST SHARE THE SECRETS OF MY DAUGHTER’S SPHINCTER AND YOU ARE MY UNWITTING, CAPTIVE PAWNS (caps are another staple of us poop-story sharers)!
The past couple of days has seen an insidious rot occurring somewhere in Julia’s digestive system. I don’t know, I see something akin to the face hugger alien from Alien at work doing unspeakable things to her precious innards. The result of all of this is a stool that is without question the foulest smelling creation in history, of a consistency that would startle the most battle-hardened triage surgeon. She’s not alarmed by any of this and shows no external sign of any wrong-doing inside. And, ridiculously, until you remove that diaper it stays hidden… festering, waiting to pounce on unsuspecting caregivers. I almost fell over from the horror of it.
It’s weird times when you’re praying for a regular turd to appear.
2 Responses to “The stealth stench”
We just survived nearly two weeks of the Black Plague running through our entire household. It turned out to be two separate bugs– one viral and one bacterial. We’ve never had anything that knocked out both kids + Mom and Dad all at once.
The wife has a superhuman immune system that developed from being exposed to 150+ bio-weapons (aka., “children”) per day in the education system. Even her mutant healing factor was unable to handle this onslaught. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen her this sick.
Now for the bad news…
Unfortunately, the outbreak started with Aiden developing similar intestinal ailments. I’ve dealt with hazardous material removal for years, but one poop job in particular nearly knocked me on the floor several days ago. No one would enter the baby’s room for several minutes after I performed the diaperectomy.
I hope Julia hasn’t caught something similar, CF. Our kids were both on Augmentin for 10 days and it didn’t help much. The baby threw up repeatedly and managed to get the ever-unlucky mother-in-law during the SuperBowl. (I suppose that the bad luck started with the now-famous wedding reception
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It’s nasty, with big, pointy teeth…
Have hope, it does get better…. eventually. I have the statistical norm of 2.5 kids and haven’t had to deal with anything like that in, oh, 16 years or so. Foul, clogged, overflowing toilets, now that’s another story.