From: “AMB.BUNU.S.MUSA” <bunu_musa@mail3000.com> Reply-To: bunu_musa121@glay.org To: coldforged@coldforged.org Date: Sat, 9 Aug 2003 02:56:42 +0200 Subject: URGENT ASSISTANCE NEEDED FROM THE DISK OF AMB.BUNU.S.MUSA OCEANIC BANK INT’L LIMITED Email**bunu_musa121@elvis.com E-mail** bun_musa121@glay.org ATT**PRESIDENT/CEO I am Amb.Bunu S.Musa ,the Bank Directors of Oceanic Bank, Lagos Branch. I have urgent and very confidential business proposition for you. On June 6, 1999, an Oil consultant/contractor with the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation, Mrs. Ann Barbara Myers made a numbered time (Fixed) Deposit for twelve calendar months, valued at US$25,000,000.00 (Twenty- five Million Dollars) in my branch. Upon maturity, I sent a routine notification to her forwarding address but got no reply. After a month, we sent a reminder and finally we discovered from her contract employers, the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation that Mrs. Ann Barbara Myers died in an automobile accident. On further investigation, I found out that she died without making a WILL, and all attempts to trace her next of kin were fruitless. I therefore made ! further investigation and discovered that Mrs. Ann Barbara Myers did not declare any kin or relations in all his official documents, including her Bank Deposit paperwork in my Bank. This sum of US$25,000,000.00 is still sitting in my Bank and the interest is being rolled over with the principal sum at the end of each year. No one will ever come forward to claim it and according to Nigerian Law, at the expiration of 5 (five) years, the money will revert to the ownership of the Nigerian Government if nobody applies to claim the fund. Consequently, my proposal is that I will like you to stand in as the next of kin to Mrs. Ann Barbara Myers so that the fruits of this woman’s labore will not get into the hands of some government officials. This is simple, I will like you to provide immediately your full names and address so that the Attorneys will prepare the necessary documents and affidavits which will put you in place as the next of kin. We shall employ the service of an Attorney to process and notarization all the necessary documents and letter of probate/administration in your favor in order for the transfer to take place. A bank account in any part of the world which you will provide will then facilitate the transfer of this money to you as the beneficiary/next of kin. The money will be paid into your account for us to share in the ratio of 60% for me and 40% for you. Be rest assured There is no risk at all as all the paperwork for this transaction will be done by the Attorney and my position as the Branch Director guarantees the successful execution of this transaction. Upon your response, I shall then provide you with more details and relevant documents that will help you understand this transaction. Please observe utmost confidentiality, and rest assured that this transaction would be most profitable for both of us because I shall require your assistance to invest my share in your country.please send your office phone and fax including your cell phone numbers where i can reach you at all time for futher oral communication regards to this transaction. Awaiting your urgent reply email:bunu_musa121@elvis.com Thanks and regards. Amb.Bunu S.Musa
Dear Amb. Bunu S. Musa,
I cannot explain to you the impact your letter has had on my family and I. We have literally scoured the free world and searched for months for any news — any news at all — about dear Aunt Ann, and now thanks to your thoughtful note we know. “Nutty Ann” (or “Auntie Annie With The Fat Ass Fanny” as some of the younger children lovingly referred to her) was always right on the bleeding edge with her spirited work, traveling far and wide to share her poignant outlook on fashion and skin care. Bunu (I feel like I already know you!), she didn’t give two shits whether a kid was starving, legless or homeless… she’d go right to scraping off mud from the whelps to make room for eyeshadow, shooing away flies from landing on her precisely laid foundation. Man, was she a piece of work. That whole oil consultant fling was an utter ruse, Bunu, she could hardly find her ass with both hands and a flashlight, much less oil unless it was sitting on a shelf labeled “10W30″. Let me share her patented “Nutty Ann” oil finding technique: find a cheap piece of land in the middle of a third world country — preferably near a village with profligate skin blemishes or eczema — and plunk down a well. Christ, Bunu, you could practically drop a cow from an airplane over your country at random and drill where it craters and find an oil field. It ain’t rocket science, so Ann milked it for all it was worth. As long as she could dress up nearby native children in feather boas and heels, she’d tell you there was oil in a friggin’ rock, you just have to squeeze hard enough to get it out.
I can only imagine that she was tooling around Nigeria, championing her cause of affordable facials and detoxifying scrubs for the indigent when she bit it. While dear Ann was always the oddball of the family — she’d drink everyone under the table, then flounce around the house in a girdle and pasties, mangling That’s The Way (Uh-huh, Uh-huh) I Like It (Uh-huh, Uh-huh) in her cacophonous, off-key yelp — we dearly loved her, and hoped she was well. You can therefore imagine the despondence your note has brought us… while we knew she was probably gone, we still hoped for a miracle. You mentioned she died in an automobile accident, and anyone that knew her would be totally unsurprised. She was never a very good driver. Hell, BunMan, who am I kidding… she was a complete menace! When I used to ride with her she’d be cruising along hovering near triple digits, one hand or the other vaguely near the steering wheel, eyes never leaving the mirror as she liberally applied literal layers of various kinds of makeup to her craggy face. I simply couldn’t watch the road, it was too terrifying. She’d babble on about these new protein-enriched lotions and essence of lilac rectal oils or whatnot and all I’m thinking is “you just flattened a dachshund you batty bitch, keep your eyes on the fuckin’ road!”
Jesus, Bunu, 25 large, huh? o_O That’s a whole lot of mascara if you know what I mean. I’m just so thankful that you reached us before it was forfeited to those rat bastards in the government. What do they every do with it that’s worthwhile, eh? Nutty Ann was never big on taxes — why do you think she stuck all that green in a pissant bank in Nigeria? — so she’d roll around in her grave if we let that happen. Look, Bunu, let’s make it even easier. Just mail us a cashier’s check to our home for whatever amount it was (let’s see, 40% of $25 million is… umm… big bucks! That’s math I can get excited about!) Here’s our address:
Kin of Ann Barbara Myers RE:Nigerian ScamGenerous Cashier’s Check Suite 900, Wachovia Building 400 South Tyron Street Charlotte, North Carolina 28285-0001
I look forward to hearing from you, Bunu! Ann would be so happy that someone looked after her accounts with such eagerness and tenacity. You are truly a credit to your kind. Whatever that is.
Love and smooches, ColdForged
